32. Money Trauma and Getting Started with Your Business Finances with Hailee Gardner

Sometimes what we mistake for fear or avoidance of our business finances, is really money trauma, which is a deeper issue than just being overwhelmed or confused or fearful of your finances. Join me for a conversation with Hailee, a trauma coach, as we talk about and try to normalize money trauma.

We talk about how money trauma is different from fear or anxiety, how to recognize the signs of money trauma and how Hailee used Simple Financials to slowly start getting control of her finances.

Mentioned in this episode:

Ready to be like Hailee and get started with your business finances? Get your Simple Financials Bookkeeping template

Ready for get your finances in order? Book a call to continue the conversation.

Other resources:

• S Corp Tax Savings Calculator
• Get Your 30 Days of Money Mindset Prompts

Connect with Hailee:

Hailee is a Certified Professional Life Coach who specializes in treating teens and adults experiencing a variety of issues including mental health (primarily mood, trauma, anxiety, body focused repetitive behaviors and neurodevelopmental disorders), relational/attachment issues, and life transition challenges). As a healing companion, she brings hope, understanding, direction, and support to those who feel stuck or broken by debilitating stress, anxiety and past trauma.

Instagram: www.instagram.com/haileemaecoaching
Website: www.haileemae.com

DISCLAIMER: The information in this podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute an accountant-client relationship. While we use reasonable efforts to furnish accurate and up-to-date information, we assume no liability or responsibility for any errors, omissions or regulatory updates.

Transcript

Welcome to Purposeful Profit, where I help you take your business to the next level. I'm Carla Moats, Finance and Strategy Coach, and Fractional CFO for high-achieving female entrepreneurs. I'm here to empower women to build wildly profitable businesses that give them the freedom to live their dream lives. I'll use my more than 30 years of finance and consulting experience to take the mystery out of your finances, help you make more money, and go after your next big thing.

Hi there, and welcome back to the Purposeful Profit Podcast. I'm Carla Moats, your host, and I am a financial accounting expert and a financial whisperer to female CEOs. I help them get their finances in order, understand their numbers, and put more profit in their pocket. I do this by providing bookkeeping and accounting services, business coaching, and financial mentoring.

Welcome back to today's episode and I am super excited to be joined today by Hailee Gardner. Hailee and I met through a mutual friend back in 2022, and Hailee is a Certified Therapeutic Coach. She specializes in treating teens and adults experiencing a variety of issues, including mental health, relational and attachment issues, and life transition challenges. As a healing companion, she brings hope, understanding, direction, and support to those who feel stuck or broken by debilitating stress, anxiety, and past trauma.

She is also a user of the Simple Financials bookkeeping template. That is a template that I created back in late 2022. I created this for business owners who are not yet making $100,000 in their business and who just need something simple to track their finances, because I found so many of them that I talked to were pretty much just winging it, weren't doing anything, we're waiting for the tax guy at the end of the season, and this ultimately was creating a snowball effect with their anxiety, because the more and more they ignored it, the more and more anxiety they had.

Simple Financials is a Google Sheets template that you pay for once. It's $79 and then you can duplicate it in future years. And once you buy it in one year, while there may be new releases from year to year, you don't have any need to ever pay for it again. You have a sheet where you enter business income and expenses, and there are dropdowns for categories that are aligned with Schedule C of your 1040.

One of the main goals of the template is just to make tax prep a breeze. It comes pre-populated with ten reports that automatically populate for you. You don't need to do anything. And we just launched a four-part email course. So once you sign up, you get your download, which will start showing up in your inbox for four days where I will take you through each aspect of using Simple Financials.

So today, Hailee and I are going to talk about how she's used it to get started with tracking your finances. When she started using it, she wasn't doing anything at all with her finances, which is where I'm guessing a lot of the people who are sitting and listening to this episode, that's probably where you're at and she's also a trauma expert. We are also going to talk about money trauma because this is something I see show up with a lot of my clients at all different levels. I don't care if you are brand new to your business or you are a $5 million business owner. I see a lot of clients who have signs of money trauma manifesting in their business. So Hailee, thank you very much for being here. I am super, super happy to have you here.

Hailee: Me too. Thanks for having me. I'm so excited to be here.

Carla: Why don't you start by telling our listeners a little bit about you and your business?

Hailee: Yeah. So as you said, I'm a Professional Certified Therapeutic Coach. I specialize in helping people with stress and anxiety and trauma mitigation. I help adults, teens, everything in between, just to assist people and be a healing companion for those who want to live a happier and healthier, more fulfilling life.

Carla: Why don't we talk a little bit for a second about money trauma? Money trauma is something that I see a number of my clients struggle with. I think a lot of times we initially think it's just “anxiety”, and in some cases, it is just anxiety. But in certain cases, it's more than just your normal, “I hate numbers”, or “I don't understand numbers”, and it's a trauma response. So can you talk to us a little bit about what money trauma is?

Hailee: Yeah, absolutely! I’m very familiar with money trauma because it's something that I experienced. It's been a part of my journey and something that I work a lot with individuals. Trauma is kind of a buzzword lately, and for good reason, but a lot of times people consider trauma to be one big disastrous event that happened, that was hurtful or impactful. And while that's true, what I found with a lot of traumas, especially money trauma, it actually could just be an unrelenting toxic stress. That happens for a long period of time that ends up turning into trauma. So with money trauma, it can be that there was a long period of time that there was just a sense of loss of control, there was never enough, and that is what we see a lot with people who have money trauma is just a continuous relenting intense stress around money or the lack of money, insufficient amount of funds to live a safe day-to-day normal life.

Carla: All right. Thank you. One of the things I talk about on the podcast a lot of times is virtually everybody will come to me and some version of what comes out of their mouth is, “I can't believe anyone”, “I'm showing my dirty financial mess to somebody else”, “It's a shame I hate numbers”, “I've never been good at numbers”, “I just don't want to talk about it.” So how do they maybe distinguish between where it's just something they're trying to avoid, where they just have like journal anxiety versus something that's more deep-seated, like trauma?

Hailee: Yeah, that's such a good question. It's such a personal and individual thing. One thing that for me, was I actually would have a trauma response, meaning my nervous system would get so dysregulated. I would feel very triggered and very activated anytime I would log in to a bank statement or talk about money paying bills, I literally felt myself go into a trauma response to where my breathing went shallow. I was having a lot of anxiety. So that's how it showed up for me. It can show up in different ways for different individuals, but I think you're exactly right, Carla. There is a sense of, “I'm just not a fan of doing my financials”, “I'm just not a fan of money” or “I do just have anxiety around it” to I have some actual “deep-seated wounds” that are money generated” to where “I feel a complete loss of control” and “I don't know what to do”, and it feels all-encompassing. That is where you might want to start considering there might be some wounds there, some trauma there that just needs to be addressed.

Carla: And if you're listening and what Hailee is saying resonates with you, and you think maybe you have some money trauma, in the show notes for this episode, I will provide some way so that you can connect with her. 

Hailee, so let's talk about Simple Financials. You and I met back in 2022, which is about the same time as I was launching Simple Financials. I think you were one of my earlier adopters. So before you started using it, how were you managing your finances?

Hailee: I was not managing my finances. I was avoiding my finances. When we met, we were at a coaching conference, and I remember you talking about bookkeeping and financials, and I think I flippantly said something like, “What financials? I don't do anything with mine.” Then I remember you being like, “Oh, it's important to know what your money is like for your books.” And I'm like, “Yeah.”

But at that point, I still had some money trauma, but I also had no idea where to start, so I just didn't. I literally just at the very end of the year, would pull up my Venmo account and do my best to just add everything up. It was a mess.

Carla: Hailee, actually in the very beginning—I’ve told this story before on the podcast episode about where Simple Financials originated, I was doing a training session for a group I was in, and I was the finance expert at the group. I actually wasn't coaching on finances or doing any kind of accounting or bookkeeping at the time—although I've spent 30 years in corporate finance. I had come in to do an expert talk on it, and I just asked everybody what their bookkeeping system was, and I just assumed people would tell me QuickBooks or a spreadsheet or something, and they were all like, “What system?” 

I think that was kind of an awakening for me that there was this big gap out there for people who didn't have any type of prior business experience, hadn't worked at a business, hadn't had their own business, that there's no training out there. There's nothing that when you go get your LLC, there's nothing that the state says, “Okay, before you get your LLC, here is Business 101.” They basically just take your hundred or $50 or whatever it is in your state, and you're off on your merry way.

So first thing I'd like to do is just normalize. My response to Hailee back in 2022 is probably a little different than my responses now because it's just normalized that a lot of business owners out there don't know how to get started. They are just winging it. In some cases, it actually starts off as a hobby and then over time, it evolves into a business. So if you're sitting out there and you're like, “I don't have any type of bookkeeping” or “I'm not doing anything” or “I'm avoiding”, let's just normalize it, and don't judge or put any judgment on yourself.

For those that said, one of the things that I also tell people is hobbies don't have bookkeeping. Hobbies don't keep track of their income and expenses. If I have a hobby and I knit, I probably do not go out and keep a bookkeeping system of my expenses from knitting because I may not be making money from it. I don't think of it as a business.

Businesses think about their business like a business, not like a hobby, and part of that is having some type of system. I do think that one of the reasons that people avoid is because a lot of the bookkeeping systems out there, especially if you're brand new, you're not making a whole lot of money yet. Maybe you're not even spending that much. They're just not accessible. You pay a monthly fee for QuickBooks—and I love QuickBooks. I use it for all of my bookkeeping services. Not everybody needs it.

So talk to me a little bit about how things have changed since you started using Simple Financials.

Hailee: Well, literally to go off of what you were saying with the “hobby” thing, I think the number one problem was I wasn't viewing my business as a business in the beginning, because my prior business to coaching—which was private Spanish tutoring, I was like, “It's a side gig.” It's something I like to do on the side, and I didn't take it super seriously, which is why I didn't take the financial part super seriously.

But after talking to you and realizing that this doesn't have to be the most horrific thing ever to do my financials, and once I got clear on my business being a business and not a hobby, that's what changed.

I first started taking the finances seriously and tracking the finances seriously. Once I started doing that, it felt real. I felt like the CFO of my company, of my business, of my practice, and then I was able to show up as the CEO and all of the important roles that I play as an entrepreneur. But I first had to take the financial part seriously. So that was the biggest shift, I think, for me, when I started just tracking everything and using the register to be like, “Okay, this is real.”

Carla: I think that makes up a good point because I think one of the things I see with my clients—and again, I don't care if you're using Simple Financials or if you're somebody who's coming to me, who's maybe a $300,000 or $400,000 and you've decided to outsource your bookkeeping.

When you start taking your finances seriously, when you start getting them in order, it creates a whole mindset shift that manifests all throughout your business. I've been witness to Hailee's evolution in her business over the past year and a half to two years, and I've been able to witness it. 

But I've never had anybody come to me—once we get their finances organized whether it's through Simple Financials or done for your bookkeeping, who's ever said to me, “I  wish I'd never done that”, “I  wish my finances were still a mess”, or “I still didn't have any idea where my money went” or “I still had no system.” I never, ever had somebody tell me that they wish they hadn't done it. Because when they do it, it does. It creates a mindset shift. When you said you're the CFO of your business or even the CEO of your business—because go out to any CEO that you talk to, if you go out to a cocktail party, you meet somebody, the CEO, ask her if they think their business’s finances are part of their job. They do. They may not be. They may have a CFO who's doing the work, who's assisting them, but the business's finances, that's a main part of a CEO's job. Some of my soapbox a little bit now.

So, what was your biggest frustration with your business finances? I mean, we've talked a little bit, but like overall, what was the biggest frustration you had at the time you started using it?

Hailee: Honestly, the biggest frustration was I just didn't know. First of all, what I could, what I would categorize everything, what is something that I can categorize as an expense versus—I mean, I knew that it was an expense, but I was like, does everything just be categorized as an expense? Are there different things I need to categorize? (What's the word I'm looking for, Carla?) What can be taxed, like a tax write-off? What can't?

And it just felt so overwhelming that I just didn't even want to go there. It was frustrating because honestly, I didn't even know at the end of the year, what my revenue was. I had an idea of what my revenue was. I didn't know what my profit was. That was the big thing that you helped me understand was the big difference between revenue and profit. I literally was just in the dark. So if people asked me about my business finances, I couldn't answer any of it.

Carla: And how has Simple Financials helped you with that?

Hailee: Oh my goodness. I mean, I am not super tech-savvy, and definitely, when it comes to spreadsheets, that is not my wheelhouse at all. But it was so easy. It was so easy for me to be able to just “plug everything in”. 

Then at the very end of the year, in 2023, I even texted you. I was like, “Oh my gosh. I can't believe it.” I did it for a whole year and now I know so much more about my business. It helped me so much to just see what my expenses were. I had no idea how much I was spending on business expenses. I had no idea. And so it was just so nice to know where my business finances were going. I knew what was coming in. I knew what months were more profitable than other months. Whereas in years past I would have no idea.

So it helped me see my business for what it was and helped me know coming into 2024 what I want to change, and what I want to add more of, and it was empowering for me.

Carla: I'm always super glad to hear that always. Makes my day when I hear that. Particularly, novice business owners who had no finance background at all, have been able to use Simple Financials to kind of take control. And I think with the expenses, what I tell people is if it's a legit business expense, you can take it. But one of the things that Simple Financials does is, it gives you categories that are aligned with your Schedule C, and that's where a lot of people would come to me with questions as well, “Where do I put this on my tax return?”

If I'm talking about things you don't understand, Schedule C is a profit and loss from a business. It is a part of your 1040, and as a business owner, if you are an LLC, which almost everyone listed this—probably is, and you are not filing taxes as an S-corp, which is a whole separate podcast. If you don't know if you are, you definitely are not because believe me, if you are filing as an S-corp, you will know it just makes their tax prep super easy. 

One of the things that Hailee was telling me right before we got on this call was that she actually uses it monthly. I feel like that scene in The Grinch where the Grinch’s heart grows four times bigger. Because when I hear this, that you do it on a monthly basis, you have no idea how much that makes my heart feel warm.

So can you tell us because I'll be honest—first of all, if you're listening to this, a lot of people can use Simple Financials. Hailee, what my goal is, is to give people a tool so that they can look at their finances every month and know where they stand.

Pragmatically speaking, not everybody who uses the tool is doing that. Some of them are doing quarterly. I did an interview with Alex Mitchell a few weeks ago, and Alex was like, “I'm not doing it monthly.” But I'm going to present Hailee as what could be your goal—isn't necessarily where you have to be out of the box but if you could share with us what your monthly process is and how long does it take you a month? 

Hailee: So that's why I decided to do it, because of how long it takes me to do it monthly as opposed to annually. It will literally take me anywhere between 15 to 30 minutes once a month, and I will usually do it at the end of the month, or I will do it where my state monthly statement ends for my business accounts because it makes it easy for me to just use that statement, and import all of the expenses and the income from there.

I did that because first of all, I want to make Carla proud. Also, I think I was like, “Okay, Carla. I'm doing this, so I'm going to do it the right way. How do I do this?” And you had suggested, “I think it will make it easier if you do it monthly.” So that was my commitment, and honestly—I think it was December 31st, 2023, New Year's Eve, and I was putting in my last little bit of that information for the month. I felt so good. I had the biggest dopamine hit because my year financials were done and I knew I was ready for taxes and I knew like, come in a few months, I wasn't going to be having a panic attack, and my nervous system could stay regulated because everything was just neatly and nicely tracked in there.

Also, I loved doing it monthly because in January, February, and March I looked at what my expenses were, I looked at what my revenue was, and I love the register because it tells you if you have pages that will say this is where you are for the year, and I could assess my goals. I'd be like, “Okay, I'm done with the first quarter. Here's where I am. What do I want to adjust for the next few months to meet my goals?” So it was just really helpful that way.

Carla: And that's really the key part of doing it monthly versus doing it at the end of the year. I think that you hit on the key advantages. One is, if you wait until the end of the year, it is going to take you longer to do it because you're going to be accumulating for a year. The other thing too is, especially if you're somebody who's still co-mingling some money, which will take that to a different podcast—that issue. But if you're somebody who's still co-mingling money and you're trying to figure out a year later, what items in your personal account were a business expense. It's going to be hard to remember that.

But the most important thing that you get out of doing it monthly is you're actually able to use it to make decisions in your business. Maybe there's a coaching program that you want to invest in. There's a trend report—one of the reports that's in there and it shows you what your numbers look like over the course of the year, and it allows you to make much better decisions in your business. You're not flying blind.

What I also find is that people who are doing it monthly are more likely to make a profit, if they said that as a goal because the people at the end of the year—yes, you're still using this to prep your taxes and that is a super good benefit. But you're still waiting until after the fact to look at all your numbers and see where they shake out, or if you're doing it monthly, every single month, you know where things stand or even quarterly, you know exactly where things stand.

We'll wrap this up with, tell me how you think it's helped change your relationship with your finances and your numbers.

Hailee: The beautiful thing is, I did a lot of extensive work on my money trauma. So, that was part of it. But honestly, it was just I did not know where to start. I didn't even want a relationship with it because I was like, “I don't know this. It's scary. It's overwhelming.” And I love that it's called Simple Financials because that's exactly what it was for somebody who has no background in accounting or is not super great with spreadsheets. I pulled it up and it was literally so easy that it made it almost fun for me. It was like at the end of the month, it was fun to just plug it in, plug the numbers in and see where I was. So the relationship came from this non-existent place to I became familiar with my business—every aspect of my business, and I felt so empowered and in control to get the results that I wanted financially from my business.

Carla: All right. And then let's say we have a listener that's sitting out there whose nervous system has started acting out, just listening to this podcast, listening to us talk about their numbers, and just the idea of doing it is triggering that nervous system response you're talking about. What would you say to them? What can they do?

Hailee: So the first thing is to normalize that experience. We don't want to put a label on it that there's something wrong with you or that you're broken, any of that. The first thing is to just say, this is the experience I'm having. I'm clearly activated around thoughts and talking about money. It's probably because of a situation or a circumstance that happened in my life. There's always help, but I would also do some grounding exercises. Just be intentional. Maybe some deep breaths and I'm not trying to be cliché or annoying, but also doing something like this—the Simple Financials that Carla has obviously was one of the biggest nervous system resets for me because it was so easy. I didn't have to Google a bunch of things. It was just laid out for me.

So having a program that's easy to use and pretty straightforward, along with addressing the things that are coming up for you and your nervous system and that trauma response. Both of those together can be a good combination to just help reset your nervous system and bring you to a place where you feel emotionally and mentally safe to be able to start the financial journey.

Carla: Well, thank you so much, Hailee, for being here. I've loved having this conversation with you. And if people are sitting out there and suspect that they have money trauma or some other type of trauma in their life, how can they connect with you?

Hailee: Sure. I'm in most of the places. Instagram, at haileemaecoaching. Hailee is spelled in a million different ways. My way is with an I and two E's. So it’s “H-A-I-L-E-E” and then “Mae” (not like the month), “M-A-E”, coaching. Facebook, haileemae.com 

Carla: Since she's had to spell everything out, we'll be making sure that we put all of her major ways to connect with her, or they will be in the show notes. So that is a wrap for today.

If you are ready to take steps forward with your finances and you want to treat your business like a business and not a hobby, and you are interested in Simple Financials, please go to www.carlamoats.com/simple and again we just kicked off a four-part email course that takes you step by step on how to use the template.

And thank you for joining us this week. Again, if you want to connect with Hailee, please check out the show notes, and if you are over six figures and you are interested in done-for-you bookkeeping, go to www.carlamoats.com/workwithme, and I will see you next week. Thanks for being here.

Thanks so much for listening to the show. Remember that your finances deserve some love. Finance doesn't have to be complicated or overwhelming, and you do not have to do it alone. I'd love to talk to you about your business, so please come on over to www.carlamoats.com to learn more. Or if you're ready for financial and strategy support that will uplevel all your business, go to www.carlamoats.com/workwithme to book your free financial assessment. And the last favor I'll ask is for you to help me get out the word. Tell your friends about this podcast and share it on your favorite social media. Until next week. Go create some purposeful profit.